The Heart Felt Moment

I walked somberly into the hospital.
I hated to go to such a place like this. Cold medics, unlively patients and gloomy families filled the silent hospital hall. Who ever came to this place will feel depressed. But I had to come here, because Mom just went under an uterus-removed operation yesterday.
I slided into the ward and sat next to Mom’s bed.
“She looks so pale,” I thought as I lay my hand on hers. Awaken by this motion, she slowly opened her eyes and smiled.
“Hi, babe. How’s school today?”
“Fine, nothing special.” I smiled back at her, putting her hand on my cheek and gently rooted little kisses on the back of her wrist.
She smiled wider. “Did I ever tell you the story of your birth?”
“Yeah,” I said. “Thousands of million times.” added in my mind.
I was born in this hospital, eighteen years ago. I wanted to come out from Mom’s belly desperately; the doctor pressed me inside and commanded Mom to stay in the hospital until my birth; months later, a huge infant was born at the weight of 3.95 kilogram. It wasn’t a new story at all, and I could even recite it already. But it seemed that she wanted to tell it again, so I just leaned my forehead on her hand and listened to her speaking.
“When I had you for seven months, I almost delivered you then. I was young, and all I wanted was to finish all of this and go back to my work as soon as possible, so I asked the doctor if I could just bear you at that time. He tried to persuade me that it was dangerous, but I just wouldn’t listen. That night, I slept in the hospital. And the next day, a young woman in a similar situation gave birth to her baby. It was said that the baby was safe, but its head wasn’t half as big as that of a normal baby! Hearing this astonishing news, I determined that I have to stay in the hospital, no matter how long it will take.”
I never heard of this before. As I heard this, I started to think that what if she just bore me that day? Would I be as healthy as I am today? What would I be if she just did it on impulse? Besides, she stayed in that shabby and old hospital for three months! A person lively and outgoing as she was had to lie on the bed, doing nothing but looking at the ceiling and letting go her work. She sacrificed so much, just because she knew there existed a life completely depending on her growing in her uterus. How many nights did she sleep in that dark, cold ward and counted the passing hours alone? How many days did she await the coming of the little stranger, me, in her body, and wonder how she looked and who she was?
“Finally,” she continued the story, “you came out in February. When I was delivering you, I bled badly. In such circumstances, most doctors would give up the infant and save the mother. Fortunately, living in the hospital for three months, I had acquainted myself with most of the doctors there. Many of them came to help at that time and saved both of us. I couldn’t imagine what if I lost you then and how life would be without you. As the doctor told me you were the most charming baby he had ever seen, I was so proud. And though eighteen years have passed, I still feel the same.”
I felt the sheet beneath my face was wet as hearing this. I knew that when Mom just found that she was pregnant, she once thought of controlling my gender by medical way because of the pressure of the the family and their expectation of a boy. But as the doctor warned her that this may lead to mental or physical deficiency of the child, she insisted on letting me be just what I am. There was nothing on me that wasn’t given by her. All the conviction, character and achievement I had now wouldn’t existed if it wasn’t for her firmness and sacrifice.
I raised up my head a little and peeped at her, and I saw her face which was pale now beaming. I couldn’t help thinking of the complaint I had made in my mind when she sent me to cram school after school when she had to work or when she decided to study as a graduate student. How selfish and immature I was, not knowing to satisfy for what I already had and cherished what my mom had given me. What an idiot I am, thinking that parents had the responsibility to do everything they can for their child and taking their love for granted.
“Cherry, you should go home now.” Dad came into the ward. Secretly wiping away the tears, I pressed two wholeheartedly good-bye kisses on Mother’s cheek.
Walking to the park, Dad pointed at an old building. “There was where Mommy stayed when she was expecting you.” I looked up at the building. Dark windows faced to the fading sunset and the indigo sky. The cloud rolled so lively with the breeze and made the building so old and broken in the shadow. The doctor had taken away mother’s uterus, where I was nourished with mother’s love and care. And the old hospital ward, where only two of us stayed together, would soon be eliminated. Though we were born to be connected with each other with our hearts, there must come a day when we would be separated. And by that time, I knew I would miss the day we had each other, the days when there were only I and her, in the old hospital ward.